Nuggets of Wisdom – Monday, 25 January 2016

Mormons and Misconceptions of Interracial Marriage

Interracial Couples Holding Hands

Article content by Melissa Muse

The week of 12 June marks a special week for people who are a part of interracial marriages. On 12 June 1967, in the landmark civil rights case of Loving v. Virginia, the decision rendered by the Unites States Supreme Court invalidated all anti-miscegenation laws remaining in sixteen U.S. states citing, “There can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the equal protection clause.” Thanks to the efforts of the Loving family, Loving Day, though not yet an official recognized holiday by the United States government, is the biggest multiracial celebration in the U.S.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints welcomes those who choose to marry that are of different ethnicity. However, acceptance of miscegenation, or interracial marriage, took a while to occur in the States, thus also affecting relationships within the Church as well. A question to ask is, what is the Church’s standpoint of the topic? Here is a discussion about the Church and what fellow members have said about their feelings about interracial relationships and marriage.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Interracial Marriage

A remarkable trend these days is that an increasing number of people are accepting interracial marriage as a suitable choice for couples to make. How does this relate to The Church of Jesus Christ?

Brigham Young was the first President of the Church to state that men who were Black and of African descent were no longer to be ordained to the priesthood. Despite the conditions, Blacks still could join the Church through baptism and could receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. Many church presidents following Brigham Young upheld the restriction for Black men to get the priesthood and for Black members to receive temple ordinances.

It was a big day in Church history when The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced that Black members of the Church could finally receive the priesthood and temple blessings. In June of 1978, President Spencer W. Kimball, along with the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, received revelation from Heavenly Father that all brethren, no matter their race, are entitled to having the priesthood as long as they are worthy. Additionally, all members who are worthy, no matter their race could enter the temple and take part in the holy ordinances performed there.

What does this mean for those within interracial marriages? It means that those who are of different race can take part in all the blessings that are provided to them through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.There are no restrictions placed on any worthy male member from obtaining the priesthood, or any worthy member, regardless of race, from participating in sacred temple ordinances. Regarding race, LDS.org, the official website of The Church of Jesus Christ, states:

In theology and practice, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints embraces the universal human family. Latter-day Saint scripture and teachings affirm that God loves all of His children and makes salvation available to all. God created the many diverse races and ethnicities and esteems them all equally.

In lieu of this statement, I believe that God fully accepts and is happy when two people decide to marry, and that race is not a negative factor when two people are to marry as one.

I still had some questions in mind. So I reached out to a couple of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who have helped in answering my inquiries.

What does interracial marriage mean to you?

I have met several people and grew up with friends who have married outside of their cultural or racial background and they are doing well with their marriages. Most have children and are happy with how life is going for them. My belief is also that it helps to have the gospel perspective before marrying not only someone of a different ethnicity, but any person in general.

I asked Sister Dumdi Baribe, a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, about her feelings about interracial marriage. Her response was:

I feel that love sees no color and two people from two different cultural backgrounds can be united in marriage, as long as they love one another and share common interests, morals, and values.

Sister Dumdi Baribe
Sister Dumdi Baribe

Born in Nigeria, and the oldest sister of six siblings, Sister Baribe feels that this is true, especially since she has stated that she has dated outside of her ethnicity before.

I also interviewed Brother Keith Brown, who is a convert of nearly seventeen years to the Church. He is an honorably retired 30-year United States Navy veteran, having been officially retired from the United States Armed Forces on 1 September 2010. His heritage is predominantly Methodist and Lutheran, but he grew up Baptist. He shared his feelings that love can transcend race and culture. He said:

I do not believe that the color of a person’s skin makes the person, but rather it is the character of that person that tells who he or she truly is.

He further stated:

I will admit that there will be cultural differences within such [interracial] marriages, but those can be dealt with and overcome. However, both the husband and the wife have to be willing to work together to better understand one another.

And he also adds:

Before marrying anyone, a person must take the time to make it a matter of sincere prayer, and seek the Lords guidance and direction. If the Lord’s blessings are not on the marriage union, then it does not matter what race the couple is, that marriage is built on a sandy foundation from the start.

Brother Keith L. Brown
Brother Keith L. Brown

Their beautiful responses hit the nail on the head. I feel the same: that no matter what color you are, love can transcend boundaries, including interracial ones. I also feel that loving anyone within a marriage, whether it is with someone who is of a different race or of the same, the feelings should be the same. There are no restrictions that should keep one person from loving another, especially race.

The History of the Church and Interracial Marriage

I understand there was much joy for those who married someone outside of their own ethnicity when the announcement was made that priesthood requirements were extended to men of any racial background and that temple ordinances can be performed by any worthy member for anyone. For example, there is the story of Robert Stevenson, a convert who married outside of his own ethnicity before the ban on Black men having the priesthood was lifted. He and his wife celebrated the day that President Kimball gave the word to allow all men the ability to receive the priesthood. He and Susan Bevan, his wife, were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple almost a year later.

God does want what is best for his children and that means that it was important to Heavenly Father to allow Brother and Sister Stevenson to be married in the temple, as well as other brothers and sisters seeking the same blessings.

Has the Church fully accepted interracial marriage?

Today, I understand that several of my friends who have married outside of their own race are comfortable in their decision, and are allowing others to see that they are just as happy as can be with their marriage as any couple who marry within their own ethnicity.

However, there is that unfortunate instance where interracial couples may face discrimination from fellow members. Brother Keith Brown shared his thoughts about whether the Church has fully accepted interracial marriage:

There are some who have accepted and embrace interracial marriages, but sadly, even within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there are some who probably will never accept interracial marriages. I have personally dealt with a few in the social media world.

Sister Baribe, who is the only active member of her family at the moment, gave her thoughts about this issue and stated:

I think the Church itself has accepted interracial marriage to some level but not necessarily fully. There have been times when I have heard talk about how we should marry in our own culture, in the Church.

I fear that this may be a trend within the Church, that people of different races are discouraged from dating or marrying people outside of their race and culture. My hope is that people within the Church can be more accepting of those who date or marry outside of their race. My thoughts are that it is the Christ-like thing to do.

I liked what Brother Brown says here:

I think through the years, the Church has made great strides in understanding different races and cultures and are perhaps more accepting today of interracial marriage than they might have been in the past.

He also mentioned a group called the LDS Genesis Group, which is presided over by a General Authority of the Church, and shares that many interracial couples make up this group. He also feels that the Church follows the teachings of the scripture where it states: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9). Brother Brown continues to say in this profound statement:

When God sees a marriage union, He sees the couple as one. He is not concerned about race or any other such thing.

My personal hope is that we see beyond color and accept everyone as sons and daughters of God. There is no doctrine opposing two people from getting married based on the fact that they are from different ethnic groups. If God accepts it, then so should all. It is unwise to discriminate where God has not done so.

Does ethnicity matter when two people are in love?

With being in love with my husband, I may have an advantage to say what is and what isn’t love, but could I have fallen in love with someone of a different ethnicity? If that was within God’s plan for me, maybe that might have happened, but I did marry someone of the same color. I feel inclined to say that God works in mysterious ways sometimes and I feel that it is normal for people of different races to fall in love. Love transcends color, and with any marriage, difficulties will arise and problems will need to be solved. Interracial marriage is no different from a marriage between those of the same race.

Sister Baribe’s feelings are that she thinks ethnicity does not matter. She commented:

There are clear differences and different obstacles to overcome when dealing with two different ethnicities, but those things can certainly be worked with when two people are in love.

Brother Brown answered emphatically that he personally does not think that ethnicity should make a “difference if two people are truly in love.” and believes that “as long as the two people treat each other with dignity, respect, and self-worth, the color of their skin should not play a part in their romance.”

My favorite statement Brother Brown gives:

I also firmly believe that the heart only knows the color of true love, not the color of a person’s skin.

He follows this by pointing out that if people of the same race and culture cannot make it through marriage or dating, then why should people of differing races have the same results? He mentions that “if I truly love someone, it does not matter to me what ethnicity that person is. I see her as a daughter of God” (emphasis added). He also feels that it is important to look past the “barrier of ethnicity” and see each other as sons and daughters of the “same Heavenly Father.”

Love is a beautiful feeling when that connection is felt between two people, even if that attraction is between people of differing races.

How do interracial marriages affect the dynamic of the Church?

My clear opinion on this is that I believe that interracial marriages benefit the Church. First, I think that it allows for people to have the opportunity to be more accepting and loving to all our brothers and sisters, no matter their race or culture.

Sister Baribe who is also a returned missionary who served in San Jose California, said:

Honestly, I believe that it gives the Church and the members an opportunity to learn about and experience different cultures than they (some of the members) have always known. We need more of that in the Church. That way, people can be more open-minded about members and non-members from different cultural backgrounds.

Brother Brown said in response to this particular question: “Honestly, I think that having interracial marriages strengthens the dynamics of the Church by allowing more diversity and opening new windows of understanding among the different races and cultures.” He continues:

I think that interracial marriages helps people to see and understand that true love is not color blind. And interracial marriages helps in many ways to bring about unity in the Church as people begin to realize and understand that we are all brothers and sisters and our ethnicity should not separate us, but rather unite us.

You can check out his blog here to read more what Brother Brown has stated about interracial marriage and the Empirical Triangle of Marriage.

God felt it was time to allow church members of different races to be given more privileges, so thankfully not only Blacks, but other ethnic groups, can take part in saving ordinances within the temple and have the priesthood. This allowed church members the opportunity to not feel limited as to who they could fall in love with. Miscegenation may not be common within the Church, but I believe that it is important to love everyone equally and not discriminate. Welcoming everyone, no matter their background or race, should be a key part of how God wants His Church run.

The Lesson to Learn

It is crucial that church members try to be more accepting of those who marry outside of their race or culture. To do that, it is important to abolish all prejudices and be fully compliant with interracial marriage. There is no church policy or doctrine refusing people of different ethnicity to get married or date. My challenge is to reach out to those brothers and sisters who are part of an interracial relationship. Be Christ-like in your actions and words to these dear brothers and sisters. To wrap up, on lds.org, again, it also states about race that:

God is ‘no respecter of persons’ (Acts 10:34) and emphatically declares that anyone who is righteous–regardless of race–is favored of Him.

Melissa MuseThis article was written by Melissa Muse. Melissa is a loving wife to her husband, who to her, is also her “muse.” She is also a recent college grad from Brigham Young University–Idaho with a degree in English, Creative Writing. A native of St. Louis, Missouri, and current resident of Utah, she luckily finds herself back in her birth state. She has love for cats and enjoys music and sewing/crafting.

Nuggets of Wisdom – Friday, 22 January 2016

My Thoughts on Interracial Marriage Relationships

Interracial Marriage Relationships

For those who may have “concerns” and major “heartaches” with the idea of a person of one race marrying a person of a different race, may I emphatically state that it is not the color of the skin that will hold the marital union together. Also for the record, I declare that it is not for the protection of any future progeny that two people of different races should not be joined together in matrimony, for children care absolutely nothing about the color of a person’s skin. Children are taught and learn prejudice in time.

I further proclaim that in the entirety of the canon of scriptures (which I have read several times in its entirety in my young life) there is no commandment, edict, verdict, or decree that prohibits two people of different races from being joined together in matrimony. Therefore, religion should not be used as a deterrent or supposed viable argument either.

What will keep a marital relationship in tact is the fact that God is in the picture from the very start. If He is not in the picture; if He has not put His blessings upon the relationship, then no matter the race of the two people involved, that relationship is built upon a sandy foundation that will eventually erode and wash away with the passing of time. The other important factor in the ties that bind in a marital relationship, regardless of the race of the couple, is that there exists genuine love between the two of them.

“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9).

What are your thoughts about this topic?

Nuggets of Wisdom – Thursday, 21 January 2016

The Empirical Triangle of the Marriage Union

Happy Married Couple

I have never been married, but I believe that 55 years of life observances has taught me a few things. I ask that you indulge me for just a few moments as I share a few of my humble thoughts on the subject.

This simple exercise will help to illustrate my points. First, take out a blank piece of paper and draw an upright triangle. You will note that a triangle has 3 sides. For the purposes of this illustration, one side of the triangle will represent the man (husband), the other side will represent the woman (wife), and the bottom of the triangle will represent the base or the spiritual foundation.  You will also note that the pinnacle or point of the triangle points upwards towards Heaven.

Take away either side of the triangle and the other side can continue to stand, although it now stands alone without the support of the other side. You will also note that the point of the triangle has been broken, and there is now an open space which for the purposes of this illustration, represents the world and all of its temptations which can cause us to lose our focus.

Replace the side of the triangle that you removed, and remove the base or the spiritual foundation. What happens? The entire infrastructure of the triangle collapses representing the end of a relationship.

In my observations, marriage is not just about the man, nor is it just about the woman, it is about the two becoming one and supporting one another in an equal relationship that is built upon a firm foundation, with their eyes always looking up towards Heaven to the One who is able to sustain them and keep the union together.

As the angles that make up a triangle are of equal value, so are the husband and wife of equal importance in a marital relationship. As the triangle only remains to be a triangle so long as a base is there to support it, the spiritual foundation of a marriage relationship is of equal importance in holding the union together and keeping the couple focused on those things that matter most in life. They are able to endure the temptations of life together, and live in the world, but not be of the world.

The husband can do some things in life without the support of his wife and the opposite is also true, but they can do so much more with the strong support of one another to help keep each other grounded on a firm foundation and their eyes focused on the pinnacle.  In essence, it becomes a basic mathematical equation: 1 + 1 = 1, as two people, the husband and wife, become one. And as they become one, they draw closer to God, and closer to one another.

Marriage Triangle

Additional Resources:

Seth Adam SmithMarriage Isn’t For You by Seth Adam Smith

I’m Letting My Wife Go by Seth Adam Smith

Nuggets of Wisdom – Tuesday, 27 October 2015

World Congress of Families 9 – Salt Lake City, Utah

World Congress of Families 9

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spoke at the ninth World Congress of Families in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Other Links of Interest:

World Congress of Families 9

World Congress of Families opens in SLC amid LGBT criticism

World Congress of Families IX: Abortion harms women and unborn by Alex Clark on 27 September 2015

If the Foundations be Destroyed

By Keith Lionel Brown

Mormon Family
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6

The central core of the foundation of any society is the home. President Thomas S. Monson has taught us,

Actually, a home is much more than a house. A house is built of lumber, brick, and stone. A home is made of love, sacrifice, and respect. A house can be a home, and a home can be a heaven when it shelters a family. When true values and basic virtues under gird the families of society, hope will conquer despair, and faith will triumph over doubt (Thomas S. Monson, “Dedication Day,” Ensign, November 2000, 64-66).

The home is the first institute of learning in which children are automatically enrolled as pupils. Therefore, the home becomes a virtual classroom, and fathers and mothers, the patriarchs and matriarchs of the home, become the first school teachers that their children meet. They teach their children their first life lessons, imparting to them the basic knowledge that they will need to survive in society, thus preparing them to enter that larger institute of higher learning called life.

Mormon family

There are many lessons that are taught in the home and the learning process for a child is begun the moment that they as a baby are brought home from the hospital and become part of a family. It is in the home where children learn to live together, work together, laugh and play together. It is there where they learn that the key word is togetherness . The home is where they learn how to peacefully resolve conflicts among one another and to never let the sun go down while being angry or upset with either their parents or one of their siblings. The home is the place where children learn the true meaning of unity and gain an understanding and appreciation of knowing that together they stand, but divided they fall. It is in the home where children are nurtured in the Word of God and have their feet planted on the path that they should follow.

President Monson has further taught us,

The home is the basis of a righteous life and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfil its essential functions. . . . Such values, when learned and lived in our families, will be as welcome rain to parched soil. Love will be engendered ; loyalty to one’s best self will be enhanced; and those virtues of character, integrity, and goodness will be fostered. The family must hold its preeminent place in our way of life because it’s the only possible base upon which a society of responsible human beings has ever found it practicable to build for the future and maintain the values they cherish in the present.” (Thomas S. Monson, “Dedication Day,” Ensign, November 2000, 64-66)

Mormon family praying together

The home is the place where the word love is not a noun, but a verb. True love is not only demonstrated through spoken word, but is shown in the day­ to-day relationship of the parents with one another, as well as, the relationship that the parents have with each of their children, and the children in turn have with their parents and each other. Hanging above the threshold as one enters the portals of the home hangs a proverbial sign that reads “Love Is Spoken Here.”

President Monson also admonishes us that,

Happy homes come in a variety of appearances. Some feature families with father, mother, brothers, and sisters living together in a spirit of love. Others consist of a single parent with one or two children, while other homes have but one occupant. There are, however, identifying features which are to be found in a happy home, whatever the number or description of its family members. These identifying features are: A pattern of prayer. A library of learning. A legacy of love (Thomas S. Monson, “Dedication Day,” Ensign, November 2000, 64-66).

Show me a child who has been properly raised in a home about how to relate to others, and I will in return show you a child that will adjust well in dealing with people in society. If a child does not adopt well to living in peace with his own family, he will not adjust well to being in society with total strangers. It all begins in the home. “There is beauty all around when there’s love at home” (Hymn 294, “Love at Home).

The home is the central core of the foundation of any society and the family
is society’s hope for the future. “If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” (Psalm 11:3)